heared this song over the net. well, as a certified hopeless romantic(or bum?) as i am, it kinda swayed me to write. i guess, it's really been a while i tapped this passion again. i dnt know, so many ideas lobby in my head--like runaway planes landing in a really busy airport, but everytime i sit in front of the plasma tube... errhh... Blank. like this instance... this very instance... again this instance(*now im sure u got me already.)
honesty. i might be dealing honesty problem here. damn, it really takes me a while to get into my core. i must have been lying for too long that its hard to distinguish between lies and deceit(erh reality). hehehe. don't get me wrong here. aint delusional yet, (fyi, im no hearing voices inside ma head--annnd in case i hear 1, i wont answer! harharhar). ok let's get things straight... all of us (or is it only me?) are posing 2 persons to people:the ideal and the real persons. (listen, this is psychology 101!) our ideal self is the person who we want to be (or at least, who we present to people). im calling him--"the mask". he is the invincible, the brilliant, the intelligent, the fashion icon, the bubbly, the prudish-proped up,(for me--the architect.) and all the positive qualities we could think of. in other word, he is the captain barbell. on the left corner, wearing a red shorts, weighing 120 lbs, our real self. the person who we really are-- behind closet doors, when no one is looking: the shorty, the wounded, the hurt, the insecure, the bald headed, the clown, the lazy, the pretentious, the scared child (and for me the weird, artistic soul). its ok to disagree with me over this. But don't you get a little showy, all tucked-up person when there is someone there listenin(getting sick!) to your manifesto of achievements? You are not? oh cmon! you could lie to the devil but never to me. "I am just being me!" is not actually being you. ok, you go act out the real, weird, eccentric you if you dont scare the next person out of his nuts. worse, you could be hit by an umbrella by your lola, with a litany of sicko! pervert! ^&#$(*^%$%!in line. and much worse, u end up tied to your bed, all prim up with crushed sabila leaves in your forehead, and here comes the priest on top of his lungs--" In the name of ____ and ____ and ___, i am evoking you leave the body of whoever you are!(imagine exorcism of emily rose?) and if that wouldn't work (which is expected), think of mang kepwing with his sting ray tail. hehehe. at least youl met your death with class--similar with croc hunter from australia. too bad no one's gonna put up a foundation in your name. hehehe.
what im saying is nobody's have the ability to exorcise the real you. you are beautiful (chrsitina aguillera) as you are. you are special. you are a demmie god. you are enough the way you are. its ok to keep the "the ideal self" but never ever try drowning your real self. God talks to us in our real self. how can we hear him if we "blocked user" our real self. to me it's much worth venerating on being special that forever hiding in the shadows of anonymity. it really takes courage to be in the light, to share our vulnerability, but that's how we are created to be. we are suppose to be different. otherwise, we are just another face in the crowd, another sheep in the herd, all boring and predictable. come out, come out, into the light....
conclusion:
i shouldnt have write at all. wehehehe. waray karag buot. blog ko ine!
